I hate all girls vehemently.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
