omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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