do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
