My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
