he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
