You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
