what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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