I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
