That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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