i think my tv is drunk
from now on my penis is your penis
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
