i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
