New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
