OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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