Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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