she was so not down for the gang bang
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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