how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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