they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
