If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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