I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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