is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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