This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
