I think I died a long time ago.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
