I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
