Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
