i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
