I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
