i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
