I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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