Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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