Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
