my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
