I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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