i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
