I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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