you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
