do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
