you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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