I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
