Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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