the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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