I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Randomize
