i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
BRING THE BAGELS
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
