his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
