The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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