this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
lol hangovers are for mortals.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
