I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
