Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
