We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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