I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
