I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
