i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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