What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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