i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
